I was thinking about the influence that dads bring to bear on their children. We understand the importance of being a role model to our children. We want them to be successful. We want the very best of our children. Amidst all this, do we lose our plot and end up being overbearing and a tad 'preachy'.
One tends to be preachy and believe that one is entitled to providing unsolicited advice. It is particularly true with your daughter(s), possibly out of the mindset that 'girls' need to be protected. However, the question on the table is "Is it in the best interest of your child/daughter?". Though relationship with our children does change (evolve??) over time, do we have a 'central' foundation on which our 'parenting' edifice is built ?
I enjoy engaging in brief discussions with young parents of The Little Crest and understand their concerns and dreams for their child(ren). I am beginning to see some patterns here. Parents tend to be either 'Tiger parents" - extremely control seeking or 'guilt-prone parenting'. One of the things that I am convinced about is that you have to find a balance between control vs. freedom and pampering vs. strictness.
One tends to be preachy and believe that one is entitled to providing unsolicited advice. It is particularly true with your daughter(s), possibly out of the mindset that 'girls' need to be protected. However, the question on the table is "Is it in the best interest of your child/daughter?". Though relationship with our children does change (evolve??) over time, do we have a 'central' foundation on which our 'parenting' edifice is built ?
I enjoy engaging in brief discussions with young parents of The Little Crest and understand their concerns and dreams for their child(ren). I am beginning to see some patterns here. Parents tend to be either 'Tiger parents" - extremely control seeking or 'guilt-prone parenting'. One of the things that I am convinced about is that you have to find a balance between control vs. freedom and pampering vs. strictness.
Gender stereotyping is something that we all need to be cognizant of. This does manifest itself either unknowingly or as conditioned behavior. Also the feudal upbringing does make us believe that we men earn our respect in the society by being protective towards women. This also makes us believe that we have a natural right to 'preach' rather than being 'role models' who emphasize 'practice' over 'preaching'. Please click here to listen to Madonna's chartbuster of the yesteryear "Papa don't preach"
On the occasion of Father's day, I have a 3 point checklist for dads while dealing with your daughter(s) vis-a-vis your son:
 |
| The Little Crest's neck-tie craft work |
- Would you emote the same way with your son? If the answer is NO, you need to introspect on your parenting style.
- Would you provide the same freedom and support regarding career decisions of your daughter? If the answer is NO, you need to consider having a candid and heart-to-heart chat with your daughter.
- Would you gift your daughter the choice of choosing her life partner on an unconditional basis ?
very nice and educative blog ramki...
ReplyDeletegood stuff Ramki, keep it up. Made me think as a father a day BEFORE my kid's want me to help them celebrate the day ;-). Thoughtful blog , thanks for this.
ReplyDelete